Stone Cold Definitions: What is a Family?

the Statesn monastic order is an interesting place we value laissez faire and celebrate freedom, and strive for being the best in completely that we do. The road to achieving this is non an easy ace, but as a nation, we understand this. We train our children gradually by setting small tasks for them. These tasks are designed to help our children pr locomoteice for their imminent involvement in the authoritative world, and it is the hope of those who create these practice sessions that children will grow into adults who are well-adjusted, productive the Statesns.This training includes learning to do a variety of thingsfrom the mundane to the complexprimarily by trial and error. We put training wheels on bicycles we spread education out over a period of twenty-plus years we encourage part- prison term jobs in the beginning careers and raising a pet to learn the value of life and the seriousness of responsibility however, when it comes to creating a family, we act analogous it i s an all-or-nothing affair. We define it in a single way, and access it as successful only in the extremist of circumstances. Ameri loafer society may value individualism, celebrate freedom, and strive for perfection, but it can be an extraordinarily judgmental place for those who fall outside the parameters of the handed-down definition of family.Barbara Kingsolver examines the definition of family in her piece, pock Soup What Does It mean(a) To Be a Family, Anyway? Her conclusion that the defined parameters are solely to a fault narrow and that Americas continuing to use this false standard is detrimental to all people. in that location can be little doubt that the United States values individualism however, it acquirems as though individualism is only acceptable if the involved party conforms to preconceived norms and moral standards set by the majority when practice this right to be individual. Barbara Kingsolver asks readers in the catalog of family values, where do we ra nk an occasion such as this? (305).She is referring to a childs soccer game and the fact that the child in question is surrounded by primary and extended family membersan entire cheering section of his own, but that social construct calls his family unordered (305). Obviously, Andy is not suffering for lack of anything while playing soccerthere is nothing at all broken about him or the people who make up his family. Kingsolvers point is powerful, and she demands each of us flavour back and consider the reason for family and the parameters by which the success of this configuration of people is judged.The point of people fall in together to create a unified structure (i.e. a family) is to postureen the one by adding others. The cook up of the family structure is sort of arbitrary, and as Kingsolver points out, in other countries as well as in Americas past, the presence of several generations under one roof was commonplace (308). Modern society has changed the raw material dyn amic of family, expecting the branching out of children as they reach adulthood, and the defining of parenting success by an offsprings financial and familial productivity out in the world.This does not sound at all like the makings of a strong individual it sounds very oftentimes like a cookie-cutter environment stung out cookie-cutter people. Kingsolver points out that theres a current in the air with ferocious moral soak up . . . claiming there is only one right way to do it, the Way It Has Always Been and expresses how nonsensical this place is (305).If we operated under the guise of the Way It Has Always Been, wed still have slavery, children working in sudor shops, women who had no control over their own money, legalized domestic violence, etc. Part of this nations strength comes from its ability to recognize flaws in its operations, make the necessary changes, and move on. Why are we so wordy to apply this to family? As Kingsolver puts it, this narrow view of family is so pickled and absurd Im astonished that it gets airplay (305). Simply put, a group of people who join together to finish everyday tasks, including caring for a child/children, paying(a) bills, maintaining a home, and caring for one another is a family.People who were born before the internet, cellular phones, and the micro-cook oven survived, and many of them continue to do so without having adapted or integrated any of those items into their daily lives. Those of us who make use of current technology are not harmed by the lack of understanding or participation of those who have to remain behind the times.However, those who insist on the traditional definition of family and persist in applying derogatory terms to the variety of familial make-ups that have become more prevalent are harming those who choose to acknowledge familial advances. Divorce, remarriage, single parenthood, gay parents, and blended families simply are. Theyre facts of our time (307).It seems odd that in a n ation that is so sold on individuality and freedom of choice that it hasbegun to package cheese in balls, slabs, individually wrapped slices, and sticks that we shy awayfrom a multi-faceted definition of family. Perhaps the problem is the way in which people lookat things. Can it be that only a single parent essay to get by understands that the slab ischeapest, and that it has the added benefit of ones being able to cut it and wrap it in a variety ofsizes and shapes that can be determined based on need? Isnt this a simple, physical example ofthe old adage that anyway you slice a thing, it is still the thing? Does it genuinely matter what themake-up of the family is as long as it fulfills it goals? There are legitimate reasons for thechanges seen in the modern family.Some of the reasons listed by sociologists for these familyreconstructions are the idea of marriage as a romantic partnership rather than a pragmatic one ashift in womens expectations, from servility to self-respect an d independence and longevity(Kingsolver 307).Prepare a list of the things a person might fight hardest for in terms of freedom, and the freedom to choose a life partner has got to be near the top, and this freedom is not about ones orientation it is about ones freedomperiod. Whether straight or gay, single or married, the freedom to enter into or leave a relationship seems fundamental.Barbara Kingsolver discusses her preconceived notion of marriage and come apart a notion that was constructed by the society in which she grew upthe society that continues to exist in America (306). She admits to her nave belief that in choosing a mate one could not err, and admitted that once upon a time she believed . . that everyone who divorced could have chosen not to do it. That its a lazy way out of marital problems. That it selfishly puts personal happiness ahead of family integrity, but having lived her life and gone through a divorce, she now sees that this is simply not true.This bursts not only the bubble of her expectations, it places the rest of her family, including her children, into a category that implies imperfection and an inability to perform up to expected standards. Kingsolver equates the judging of a familys value by its tidy symmetry is to purchase a book for its cover (308). Oddly, the children of divorce are profoundly unaffected in many ways, and where adults see defeat, they see the opportunity to have two different homes and two sets of things as advantageous. Certainly this isnt always the lookas it is not always the case that a child raised in a traditional family goes unscathed. Each situation and each experience isdare I sayindividual.The closing anecdote in Barbara Kingsolvers piece places the term Stone Soup in to context, and it is in this recollection that real advice can be seen. While the accounting hinges on the soldiers plan, what happens all around them is of equal importance. The message in the story is that both sides must be rea dy and willing to accept their opposition the hungry soldiers gave in to the township who in turn gave in to the hungry soldiers, and in the end, everyone is better for having shared.The same is true of the modern family. No one should be forced to give up the deification of family anymore than anyone should give up the ideal of having a cupboard filled with food however, everyone has got to be willing to acknowledge that their definition of family is relativemuch like the full cupboard, and often simply adding to the pot what you can is sufficient.Work CitedKingsolver, Barbara. Stone Soup What Does It Mean To Be a Family, Anyway? The McGraw-Hill Reader Issues Across Time. 8th ed. Ed. Gilbert H. Muller. LaGuardia City U. of New York, 2003. 305-310.